


your smile over mine (any day)

by jaebe0m



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Crushes, First Love, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Sad Mark, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, dramatic stuff, jinson, no comfort lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 08:14:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10681305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaebe0m/pseuds/jaebe0m
Summary: "your smile over mine any day, jinyoung" mark says to himself."you have always been first"





	your smile over mine (any day)

**Author's Note:**

> not edited so it would mean a lot if y'all pointed out my mistakes n stuff thanks!

the first time mark saw jinyoung was in the practice room. his hair was disheveled, dripping with sweat from all the dancing he had probably been doing, his shirt hung loosely on his skinny body, his grey sweats were folded up to the mid of his calves and he wore a pair of worn out sneakers.

one of the company's representatives had brought mark to the practice room to get a glimpse of the trainees working. the representative introduced mark to jinyoung and jinyoung smiled at him. maybe he was just being polite or nice but mark appreciated it.

mark hailed all the way from the other side of the world—where things seemed easier, where the sun shined brighter and where he wasn't so afraid.

when mark saw jinyoung for the first time, all sweaty and exhausted, he thought he was the most beautiful person he had ever seen but more than that, mark never would have thought a smile from him was all he needed to keep going.

the first time mark and jinyoung went out together was a few nights after their first meeting, they bought ice cream and walked around the quiescent streets of seoul. though it was dark and only the presence of dim streetlights could help them pave their way around the empty streets, mark still believed jinyoung was the most beautiful person he had laid his eyes on and mark could barely even see him.

under the faint lights of far away 24 hour stores and streetlights, jinyoung smiles at mark, laughs with him and they even attempt to make conversation in broken english and korean.

at 11 pm the streets were empty and the skies had been speckled with a million stars, the moon had become a witness to whatever was happening between the two, mark told himself that night that jinyoung had become a brilliant, blazing sun with his small smiles and covered laughter.

——

mark did not know what real love felt like. he can admit that he's been attracted to a few people here and there but honestly, who hasn't? he has never felt love in all its absolute rawness and purity. based from all the movies he's watched, all the books he has read and all the things he has seen so far, he think's it's too strong.

it almost seemed far too impossible to be real.

love is patient; however when mark is with jinyoung all he wants is for jinyoung to be with him, next to him, whether jinyoung's arms are around him or not, whether their knees even touch or not, he just wants to be with him. when mark wakes up, he can't wait to see jinyoung in his pajamas and messy hair and tired eyes and even before going to bed, he goes out of his room for a moment in hopes of catching another glimpse at jinyoung. mark just wants to be with jinyoung and his heart can never wait long enough.

love is kind; however when mark sees jinyoung with any of the other members, when he sees jinyoung smiling at them or touching them, he can't help but hate them for it—hate them for making jinyoung laugh like that, hate them for making jinyoung forget about him.

love is not selfish; however mark wants jinyoung all to himself. he wants to be the only one under jinyoung's touch, he wants to be the one who makes jinyoung happy and he wants to be the only one next to him. mark just wants jinyoung to be his and he'd be more than willing to be jinyoung's.

love is not boastful; however mark wants everybody to know the things they share, the things only they have and only they know. he wants people to see how lucky he is that jinyoung is giving him so much. mark feels as if every smile jinyoung sends his way is an achievement he'd want the whole world to know. mark wants to scream it at the top of his lungs and tell the entire universe that jinyoung smiled at him.

mark was never sure of what love was in the first place since he's only picked them up from movies, books and from his parents. he might never know what the exact definition of love is and whether or not it could even encapsulate the intensity of his feelings for jinyoung.

mark has concluded all of these things and he is yet to find out more but mark does know, and even accepts, that his love might not be perfect and it doesn't have to be.

it only has to be with jinyoung.

——

jinyoung doesn't speak when he has nothing to say. mark, however, though he could think of something to say, he just never really speaks. the members call him out for it constantly and he is aware that he always almost seems like he is invisible. he even acknowledges that sometimes he feels as if he isn't part of the group.

it's something he is working on. his timid self is something he has never been fond of anyways and he's always trying to open up and creep out of his shell every once in awhile.

jinyoung always mentions how mark helps him calm down; compared to all his extremely loud and noisy members, mark has always been the quiet one and jinyoung wants to find the calm after the storm every time he needs it. jinyoung finds all that in mark and in all the years mark has been alive, it is only with jinyoung that he is happy to be the reserved one.

though one night, when all the members were asleep in their respective rooms from the busy work schedule, mark and jinyoung had decided to stay up together.

the world was quiet and it seemed like only the both of them were wide awake, but jinyoung's voice was still in a hushed whisper. "i think i like someone."

mark's heart had stopped for almost a full 10 seconds and his voice was stuck in his throat but fortunately, he was able to muster up a few words. "who is it?"

jinyoung looks mark in the eye. the both of them were sitting on the couch and across them was the tv that wasn't even turned on so all they can see was the ticking digital clock that read 2:34 AM. "jackson."

mark felt like his heart was going to burst into flames. his entire body started to numb and a sudden wave of pain and heart ache made its way all over his body.

"oh." was all mark could reply. he had entered back into his shell and began to loathe himself for never knowing what to say.

"when i see him i'm happy. jackson makes me laugh and he makes me feel like i am included. my heart flutters and aches when i see him and oh god, he just makes me so happy."

mark always thought that jinyoung was good with words and he was quite surprised that it seemed like it was lacking.

but it was already more than enough when mark can't even utter a word to jinyoung.

 _that's how i feel about you_ , _jinyoung_. mark thought to himself.   
_only stronger and better and it hurts everyday._

jinyoung talked about jackson for awhile and though mark was absolutely shattered inside, he was still with jinyoung and jinyoung was happy as he talked about how admirable jackson was.

and all mark really needed was jinyoung to be happy.

it was almost 3 AM when jinyoung decided to head back to his room.

it was also almost 3 AM when mark asked the sleeping world if it was too late for jinyoung to love him back.

———

mark doesn't even need to ask anymore and honestly, he didn't really want to. jinyoung admires jackson and jackson loved jinyoung right back. the way jackson made jinyoung laugh out loud without a hand bothering to cover his mouth, the way he made jinyoung so bright and cheery every morning, they way he made jinyoung miss him when he was doing his solo projects—it was all what mark had wished he could be for jinyoung.

though mark was angry at jackson for being the one jinyoung loved, for being the one jinyoung wanted, he still forgave him.

mark forgave jackson because he made jinyoung happy.

mark still aches on the inside when he sees them together but he covers it up with a tight smile and soft eyes. if mark is lucky, jinyoung shoots him a glance and smiles at him and mark swears it lessens the pain a little. though things are different, mark and jinyoung remain the same.

they remain as friends.

mark is still jinyoung's calm after the storm and jinyoung is still mark's entire heart.

mark sees that jinyoung is in absolute ecstasy with jackson and maybe that's okay.

 _your smile over mine any day, jinyoung._ mark says to himself.  
 _you have always been first._

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading i wrote this because i got emo from this one photo where jinson were looking at each other but mark was looking at jinyoung haha 
> 
> comments are appreciated !!! hope u guys like it !!!
> 
> have a nice day !!!
> 
> @ me in twitter @uitjbjyp


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